Dreams, Fantasies, Nightmares
by Inuyoshie
Summary: Gin's birthday was approaching. Lilinette wanted to get him a gift for some reason similar personalities? Stark saw Kira in a mall. Things went downhill from there. Rated FW for Friggin'Weird. GinxStarkXKira. All three. At once. Enjoy?


Dreams, Fantasies, Nightmares

By Inuyoshie

Caution: This is odd.

Kira Izuru sat down on a bench in the human world. He was (somehow) conned into going on a shopping trip with Rangiku and Momo. After five stores they hit a shoe store and Kira insisted that he stay outside. Just walking into that store made his feet hurt. Seriously- how did humans walk around in such contraptions?

Kira leaned back on the bench slightly, staring at the sunny sky above him. Humans bustled around him, completely unaware of the danger they all were in from hollows…

Hollows…

It had been quiet. Very quiet. Too quiet. Not that Kira liked noise and violence, but the pressure… it was immense. Torturous. He hadn't slept in days… a secret he shared with Momo, who lent him some of her cover up to hide the circles under his eyes. She too had a sleep deprivation problem, only Momo had enough people around her who actually cared about her well being to keep an eye on her. Well, that and her infatuation with her captain was obvious. Kira… less so. Not that he had an infatuation- of course not, he was a man after all, men don't get infatuations. Just a minor crush, paired with intense… loyalty. All gone.

"Okay. I'm going shopping. You're staying here." A small, pixy-like girl informed a larger man firmly. The larger man simply yawned in response. "If you fall asleep I'm ripping your balls off,"

"But I'm tired," Stark, the infamous Primera Espada whined in an unimpressive manner. His… the smaller girl, Lilinette, made a face.

"Suck it up! It'll only take me twenty minutes, tops," she retorted.

"Last time you said that –"

"Last time I got distracted by an adorable Shinigami," Lilinette growled. "Now sit on the bench and behave while I go get a present for Gin."

Stark rolled his eyes and began to sleepily look for a suitable bench to fall asleep on. All of them were occupied… so he began to gravitate towards the least occupied bench. A thin, blonde guy sat at the edge of it, surrounded by shopping bags that looked too girly to be his. After a few sleepy blinks, Stark realized the guy was a Shinigami. Shrugging, he went over to the bench anyways. It's not like the Shinigami could beat him, they meant each other no harm and the bench looked comfy.

"Hey, you don't mind if I sleep here, do you?" Stark remarked casually. The guy didn't respond at first. Stark blinked, and the guy started.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there," he apologized in a shaky voice. "Um, sure,"

Stark settled down on the bench, blinking casually at the blonde next to him. He looked pale, thin and was very jittery. His cell rang, (causing him to jump) and he answered it.

"Hello-"

"KIRA!" the phone shrieked. Kira winced, holding the phone away from his ear. Stark watched him listen to a long string of female babble with vague interest, finding it just interesting enough not to fall asleep but not so interesting for him to sit up from his sprawled out position.

Then it hit him. Blonde, skinny and skittish Shinigami by the name of Kira? That sounded an awful lot like that one kid Gin kept on alluding to. Could it…

… not that it was any of Stark's business. He yawned and rolled over, trying to sneak off to dreamland before Lilinette showed up and ripped off his…

…Wait… present for Gin? Kira? No, too much work. Waay too much work. He'd squirm, and other Shinigami would look for him, and it would be awkward picking the boy up and dragging him off… not that he could fight back or anything, but still. It would be a royal pain in the ass. It's the kind of thing Lilnette would do. If Lilinette saw the opportunity-

"STARK YOU LAZY ASS!" Lilinette's unmistakable battle cry echoed through the courtyard of the mall as Stark braced for impact. Sure enough, Lilinette leaped on Stark's stomach, much to the horror of Kira, the innocent bystander.

"Uh, Matsumoto, I think I'll have to call you back," he remarked in a dazed voice as Lilinette proceeded to beat the crap out of Stark, and Stark proceeded to not care. Much. "Um, miss I think you're hurting him,"

"Oh, I know I'm hurting him," Lilinette told Kira frankly, giving his stomach another punch. Stark let out a whine. "Suck it!"

"Well, I mean, if you two are into that that's fine but shouldn't you… uh, save it for the bedroom-"

"EW! WE'RE LIKE, RELATED!"

"I'M SORRY I DIDN'T KNOW!"

Lilinette snorted and glared down at Stark.

"Because you were such a lazy ass now I didn't have time to get that present and if we're not home in five minutes we're going to get lectured. Again. You remember last time we got lectured-"

"Lilinette."

"That wasn't fun! If I have to babysit Wonderwiess one more time-"

"Lilinette."

"What?" Lilinette demanded. Stark pointed at Kira lazily. Kira blinked. Lilinette pulled out a list from her boot. Kira suddenly realized that the violent girl's uniform looked uncomfortably Arrancar-like.

"Hmm… Shinigami, blonde hair that looks funny, shy, lieutenant level… got it!" Lilinette leaped on Kira, who yelped and fell back. Stark sighed heavily and picked up the squirming bundle of Kira'n'Lilinette and opened a garganta. Sighing, the Espada walked through, directly into his domain and collapsed on a pile of beanbags, dragging Kira down with him. Lilinette managed to get out of the way in time, and glared holes into Stark's head.

"You lazy ass-"

"Shopping is hard work. I need to sleep it off,"

"You didn't even do any shopping!" Lilinette exclaimed, irritated. Kira made a choking noise. "You dumbass you're gonna squish him!"

"Nn," Stark muttered, rolling over slightly. Kira gasped for air and tried to wiggle free, only to find himself in a vice like grip. After a few minutes, he stopped trying, glaring sullenly at Lilinette.

"You won't get any information out of me," he remarked stubbornly. Lilinette blinked.

"Naw…" she replied casually, standing up. "He'll probably come to pick it up himself… I'll go get the rest of my bags quick before Lord Aizen notices,"

Kira watched the strange girl open another garganta and leave, then focused on getting himself back home. Which first meant getting out of the arms of this… lumbering arrancar. Kira squirmed, only causing Stark to pull the Shinigami closer until Kira was pressed flush against Stark's body. Mumbling, Stark flopped onto his back, still holding Kira captive. Kira let out a hopeless whine and glared at his captor, who slept on. Not that his captor was ugly…

Aw hell. It was that kind of thinking that got him in trouble with Captain- no, Ex-Captain Ichimaru.

Kira had a thing for bad boys.

Inuyoshie's after the chapter special

Okay, so this is a random piece of shizzle I excreted in between roleplays. 'Tis gonna be a three way, GinXStarkXKira.

It started out as a StarkXKira, then I thought about chickening out and doing a GinXKira, then I thought, 'Hey, why not do 'em both?'

So here I am. Writing my second multi-chapter cannon crack. I say cannon crack because technically speaking the Armageddon series is crack too. *sighs*

Also, I've found that GinXKira 's are really emo. So I'm trying to throw in some Stark, to make it less emo. Jaah.


End file.
